MATHEMATICAL ADVICE

MATHEMATICAL ADVICE: I have always, since earliest memory, had a knack for numbers, for facts and figures. (Yeah, that’s a lie). A special ability to decipher odds and statistics and equations. (That’s a lie, too). So that people have often come to me with questions on such subjects. (Another stretcher). Anyway, with this special gift for numbers, I thought I’d share with you all (in case you don’t share the gift) the odds that you—or I or anyone we know—is going to convince a Trump cult MAGA follower that they are wrong. About anything. At all. Ever.
The official odds of such an occurrence are… you guessed it… zero! Precisely zero. In fact, you have a better chance of being struck by lightning, winning the lottery, and rising from the dead—all in one day—than you have of changing a MAGAT’S mind. First of all, of course, there has to be a mind. And it has to be open just enough of a crack to allow new, unapproved thoughts and facts to penetrate. Or at least to sort of seep in. Therein, of course, lies the problem, for MAGAT minds are hermetically sealed, armor plated with resentment, fear, and anger, bolted shut in a misinformation silo, as secure as a tight-twisted mayonnaise jar inside a bomb squad’s TCV (Total Containment Vessel). You can’t get in. And they can’t get out. Snowball’s chance in hell right there. (Another mathematical/percentage/odds quote for you.) And that’s just the pure, plain truth of it.
So, if you are still trying to get through, to win an argument or change a mind (as I occasionally, foolishly still do myself) the best advice is, just stop. Quit. Go and win the lottery. It’s a lot more fun. Hell, being stung by bees or bit by a snake is more fun. And you have a better chance of recovering and having a successful outcome. (Medical advice is free here as well). And the bees won’t call you stupid names and the snake won’t post misspelled ‘memes’ about you and your dorky snowflake friends.
So there you have it. Today’s math lesson, and top shelf personal advice, from one of the world’s leading experts. On both. (Ooops. Another stretcher there. But all the other stuff was true. Mostly).
Now go and have a good weekend. And remember those deserving of being remembered. They probably bucked the odds, too.
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