WHEN I WAS A BOY
WHEN I WAS A BOY, and for some time after, I got into trouble occasionally—well, actually quite a bit—for not obeying. For not following directions. Not doing what I was ‘supposed’ to do. It was a problem. And, truth be told, I sometimes still get in a bit of trouble for not obeying my wonderful and (mostly) understanding wife, Kathy.
But it turns out, nowadays, that not obeying can be a good thing. Even a virtue. And since I’m sort of an expert, here are some of the things I’ve learned.
Don’t obey people who shouldn’t be obeyed. Either because they are stupid, or ridiculous, or ignorant, or malevolent, or criminal, or cruel, or anti-democratic. Or just plain wrong. Or, all of the above.
Don’t obey because you’re scared. Your fear will pass.
Don’t obey because you’re tired. Have some coffee. Take a nap.
Don’t obey because other people are. Who wants to be like them?
Don’t obey because it’s the ‘nice’ thing to do. Who wants to be nice? Kind, yes. Brave, yes. Compassionate, yes. Nice? C’mon.
Don’t obey because you’re an introvert. Or don’t want to stick your neck out. Or don’t want to make waves. Waves are great. The sound of them on a rocky shore is the sound of freedom, of power, of the relentlessness of change. And a turtle only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.
Don’t obey because you think you ‘should.’ Always doing what you ‘should’ is the way to lead a boring and rather useless life.
Don’t obey because it’s comfortable. Because, again… c’mon.
Don’t obey because you might ‘get hurt.’ Everybody gets hurt. We all get hurt. No matter what. That’s life. The question is… what are you willing to get hurt for?
Don’t obey because you might get in trouble. I’ve been in trouble zillions of times. After the first million, it’s really not that bad. And as John Lewis said, there’s such a thing as ‘good trouble.’
And finally, never… NEVER… obey in advance. Before anyone even tells you, or orders you, or threatens you. Because if you do that, if you do the thing you THINK the idiot/oppressors want you to do, then you are doing their work for them. And you’re effectively one of them. And you’re setting a terrible example.
I know quite a bit more than this about getting in trouble. And not obeying. Probably more than I should. But I think this will get you started. So chin up, and good luck. I’ll see you in the Principals’ office. Or wherever.
(Please check me out at Substack at Notes From The Campfire@douglaswoodauthor)